17 Things People With Chronic Pain Are Tired Of Hearing

By:Melissa Charles
Via. BuzzFeed

Almost seven years ago, a work injury left me with a nasty disability called “Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy,” aka R.S.D. The short version is that all the nerves from the shoulder to the fingertips of my (once) dominant hand and arm now misinterpret everything as pain.

Pain is a constant in my life; it’s just a question of how bad it will be on any given day. There are some things that I know will make it worse, such as being touched, the weather, abrupt temperature changes, and stress, but there are also times where it flares up for no reason. There’s no preventing it, no real control of it, no cure for it.

One thing I didn’t count on, however, is how often I have to field insensitive comments from people who probably mean well, but just don’t understand the nature of my illness.

Here are a few things I really wish I never had to hear again:

1. “Is it contagious?”

Nope, it’s not a cold!

2. “What do you mean you can’t work? You could do something.

Not many employers are eager to hire someone that is completely unreliable, may or may not show up for work on any given day, and may end up leaving at any point during the shift, due to pain flares that make functioning impossible.

3. “Must be nice to not have to work!”

It would be a lot nicer if it hadn’t cost me my dominant hand and arm!

4. “At least you get good drugs.”

The truth is that I can choose between being a zombie, or take drugs and actually participate in my life. And the drugs honestly don’t do much for the pain. Plus, there’s the toll they take on my kidneys, liver, etc..

5. “Do you have extra meds? Can I buy some?”

No.

6. “It can’t be that bad.”

7. “Do you get disability payments? How much money did you get?”

Trust me, there is no amount of money would make never-ending, constant pain worthwhile.

8. “Your poor kids!”

There’s so much more to my parenting than the condition I live with.

9. “Your poor husband!”

Luckily my husband sees me as more than my disability.

10. “I know just how you feel! I broke a finger once!”

Trust me, you don’t know. And that’s a good thing.

11. “Essential oils would probably fix it.”

I could fill a bathtub with essential oils, and stay in it until I grew gills, but they’re not going to fix nerve damage, or rewire my brain.

12. “Have you tried massage therapy / chiropractor / acupunture?”

A child’s hand brushing mine leaves me feeling like I’ve been scrubbed down with sandpaper. No way on Earth could I handle being massaged, adjusted, or having needles stuck in me.

13. “Have you tried [insert herbal supplements here]? It’ll CURE you!”

This usually involves a story about someone’s sister’s neighbor’s cousin’s girlfriend’s Mom’s brother’s nephew. It’s weird how my experienced medical specialists haven’t heard about this miracle cure!

14. “I have a whole church praying for you! You just don’t have enough faith!”

One thing that’s not awesome is you calling my personal beliefs into question and sharing my story with an entire church of people I’ve never met — without asking.

15. “I thought you’d be better by now.”

It’s a disability, not the flu.

16. “But you don’t look disabled.”

Uh, thanks?

17. “I couldn’t live like that. I’d kill myself first.”

I’m not asking for special treatment, or for anyone to kiss my butt.

And it’s okay to ask questions when you’d really like to know more about my experience. All I’m asking is for folks to use a bit of common sense, a filter, and not assume that because I have a disability, I owe them explainations, details of my medical history, or a tour of my private life.

Facebook Comments

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *